If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
