1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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