We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
