10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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