I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
