i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
