i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
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just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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