the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize