suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
