He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
