My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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