I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
