did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize