Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
