Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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