Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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