Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize