At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
