Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
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