Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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