genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
