i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
