dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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