I hope mine doesn't look like that
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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