I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize