I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Everyone says I win the strip club
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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