It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
