"it" just moved
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Panties = found
Shame - the story of my life.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
