before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
