One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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