you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
