i think my mom watched the whole time
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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