How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
