remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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