Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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