I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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