apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
