this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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