can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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