Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
