that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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