I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
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Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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