Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
