Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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