Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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