Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
