Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she told me i tasted like america
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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