Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
