I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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