if i can run in heels then i can drive
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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