They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
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All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
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I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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