what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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