Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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