Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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