My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
