wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
