How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
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When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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