Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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